And here comes another one. It’s hard to believe that I have so much to say, but lucky for you I’ve got tons where this came from. After my latest run in with the law, I have decided to spend some time talking about law enforcement.
Let me kick things off with my whiny, belligerent comment “Why do the stinking cops pick on us poor guys just trying to get home in one piece while a mile away someone is gunning people down in the cafeteria of their workplace and there isn’t a cop to be found?”
After the musical Wednesday night, Jennyanydots and I both got pulled over by the cops. She got pulled over for speeding, and I got pulled over for my headlight being out. Here’s the thing, my headlight couldn’t have been out for more than about 5 minutes, because I was sitting behind a truck just before that and both headlights were reflecting off of it’s bumper. I know, I’m a nerd… I check things like that all the time because I’m anal retentive.
Needless to say, Jennyanydots didn’t get a ticket because she is a little hottie. I managed to talk my way into a warning, but it was not easy. However, this is the first time I’ve ever been pulled over and not ticketed. My sister, for example, has been pulled over roughly 350 times, and has had 4 accidents, at least one of which I’m sure was her fault, and has never gotten a ticket. I once got a ticket for going 39 MPH in a 35 MPH zone. Talk about profiling the males of the population. If you happen to be a girl with a pretty face or a low cut top, you can get away with anything.
I would love to see a statistical survey of incidents where only a warning was given. I would bet money that at least 85% of the warnings were given to females. Now I realize, this is totally NOT the female drivers’ fault. The police are the ones to blame for this rampant inequity.
Another point about the police is that they are never there when a real crime takes place. They are just the cleanup crew. Can you imagine if the police were actually effective at preventing crime? It would be amazing. Rudy Gulliani achieved success in New York City by putting 2 officers on every block. If that’s what it takes to prevent crime, then why don’t we do it everywhere? And you’ll never see a New York cop giving someone a ticket for a traffic violation. You might see a New York Cop flipping the bird at a driver, or yelling curses at them, but they never give citations. They know it’s a waste of their time, and there are better things for them to be doing.
You know you’re in a crappy town when they do things like speed traps. This is a sure sign that either A)The town is too small to have crime, and is in desperate need of a hitchhiking serial killer to wander through, or B)The police don’t want to deal with the real problems in their jurisdiction, so they are pretending to do some effective police work by giving tons of tickets.
Issuing traffic tickets is not effective at reducing jack squat. 95% of the population speed, make illegal U-turns and illegal lefts, roll through stop signs, and cut each other off without signaling. The threat of a ticket is ever-present, but that doesn’t stop people from doing it. The fact of the matter is, if they want people to follow the traffic laws, they’re just going to have to work with the car manufacturers and create automated cars that drive themselves.
And then we have the LAPD, which puts the “fun” back into “merciless beatings.” Their approach is to pull motorists out of their cars and beat the living crap out of them, then take them back to jail and molest them. You have to hand it to them, it’s an innovative approach. But it doesn’t work, as evidenced by the incredibly bad driving of everyone in LA. I’m sure a lot of the bad driving is due to the carloads of 26 illegal Mexicans trying to get to the valley to steal some of our quality jobs, like picking fruit and changing bed linens at hotels.
I’m not for eliminating police altogether, because we need someone packing heat to go into the trailer park to arrest “Bubba the Bastard” who beat his wife with the butt of his AK-47. That’s not a job I’d like to have.
Sometimes when I’m at a department store, the clerk will follow me around to make sure I’m not shoplifting. I guess I just have that look to me. Who knows.
Well, that’s enough for now…