As I’ve talked about before, I’m an over-thinker. I’m OCD (like, the real kind, not the “I keep my house neat” kind) and it plays out mostly in my head, which translates into behavior and emotion. When I let the OCD get a foothold, it always ultimately leads to anxiety and then insecurity.
I used to think there were positive aspects to having an overly analytical mind. Surely it makes me better at my job, right? It makes me always prepared for whatever happens, right?
No matter how much you analyze, over-think, and obsess, you will almost never get it on the nose. Because in any complex iterative system, the number of possible outcomes means a wild ass guess is just as likely to be correct. (Yeah, that was my statistics background coming out, sorry.) That means you’re spinning your wheels for absolutely no reason. And yes, I did just use the word “iterative” in the same sentence as “wild ass”. What can I say, I’m well rounded.
I am very poor at controlling or stopping the vicious cycle of over-thinking once it starts. However, I’m not half bad at just not preventing it from starting in the first place. With a little bit of help, I’ve seen that it’s only ever caused negatives in my life, and armed with that knowledge, it’s easy to say “hey, I’m not going to start reading into things.”
Every single day, something happens or is said that has the potential to send me into hyper-analysis mode. But I’m not playing that game anymore. My perception is not reality. Reality is reality. If you say nothing but obnoxious, mean things to me, I’m going to go ahead and assume that you mean them. And if you say nothing but kind, sweet things to me, I’m going to assume that you mean them, too. If your actions and words don’t match, I’m going to assume that your actions are the honest truth.
That’s literally all the thought I’m going to put into it from now on, at least until I develop some functional intuition.
Life and relationships are complicated enough without adding nuance where there isn’t any, or where you can’t be sure if there is any. If you’ve told me you love me 1,000 times and today you don’t say it, isn’t it logical to assume you still feel the same way you did the previous thousand times? If you’ve told me I’m a jerk 1,000 times, isn’t it logical to assume you still feel that way unless and until you say otherwise?
Just having done this for a few days, I already feel completely different – Relaxed. Confident. Strong. Happy. Content.
You think I’m awesome. Otherwise you wouldn’t be my friend. You wouldn’t read my blog. You certainly wouldn’t want to spend time with me. I’m not half bad, thanks. Or maybe you read here because you can’t STAND me…. but guess what – you’re still here reading, so I must have some power over you. Otherwise you wouldn’t care enough to read.
I’m kind and generous, loyal, super duper sexy, patient, bald, and I can cook a mean chicken breast – who WOULDN’T want to be my friend? If you don’t, I’ll assume that my awesomeness was just too much for you. Until you tell me otherwise. Feel free to use the contact form.