Churn

I have a tendency to churn. I overthink things that really aren’t that complicated. And when I churn, the way I deal with it is by trying to anticipate all possible outcomes and then address them preemptively. There are times that’s useful. Like if I were going into the wild and needed survival gear. I’m pretty sure I’d be prepared.

I know what’s causing the churn I’ve been feeling the last few weeks. As I’ve started to put in new boundaries (for the first time), it’s caused a lot of daily discomfort for me. People don’t like it when you put in boundaries many many years too late. The drama of it has really been sucking up my mental and emotional energy, and it has temporarily sapped some of my confidence. I have taken that emotional exhaustion home with me, a mistake I plan to remedy. Immediately if not sooner.

I’m not to blame for the things that are causing the churn but I am responsible for dealing with them and keeping my new little family away from them. And honestly, I can’t do a thing about them except cut them out of my life.

All I really want to do is relax and have fun and enjoy this new life I have. I am very blessed and very happy.

No more churn. No more obsessing. No more over-analyzing. I’m not smart enough to decipher people’s hidden meanings… I’m usually wrong. From now on, starting today, I’m going to assume that whatever you tell me, that’s what you mean.

Or, to put it into the simplest terms possible… I’m going to live in the moment. If you catch me doing anything else, call me on it.