Yesterday was a fantastically long day. It started out about 7:30, when I left to tailgate at the Chiefs game. I don’t know if it’s like this in all of the NFL towns, but here in KC, we do some serious tailgating. Ok, the really serious people got their Friday, but the rest of us got there about 4-6 hours before the game.
KC is known for the barbeque, and at the game, everybody has a grill and is cooking up a storm. The guys next to us had this awesome looking marinated steak, but they wouldn’t share. When you see 78,000 people in a huge parking lot grilling, it’s an impressive sight. It looks like a smoldering sea of red.
We went in for the game and promptly got our butts handed to us by the Carolina “Panthers” (aka, “The team that just got created and has absolutely no history or tradition, yet somehow managed to go to the superbowl and get spanked.) After performing a thorough analysis of the game, I have determined that the only things we need are: 1. A new defense. 2. A new offense. 3. New special teams. 4. New concession stand clerks. 5. A high school league to play in.
Yes, we looked like the DeSoto Junior High team, except we didn’t play as a team. Our quarterback, Trent Green, had his second week in a row passing 50%, and most of the points were put up by our defense. We would have won, except that the Panthers scored about 40 times. Two different times, we opted to kick it away on 4th and 1. But then, for some odd reason, we changed our strategy of being cautious, and went for it on 4th and 10. Durr.
So anyway, after spending the whole day at the game, I was burnt to a crisp. I look like a ripe tomato.
We drove out to my house to let Abby out for a few minutes. She was insane with excitement, and was then filled with bitterness as I once again locked her up and headed out.
We went to the sporting goods store, and I got a beautiful set of Wilson golf clubs. And so my day went.
Coke at the Chiefs: $5.50
Wilson Golf Clubs: $468.54
Going 0-2 against a crappy expansion team: Priceless.
After the sporting goods expedition, we went to “Alien vs Predator.” I knew it would be good because the critics hated it. These of course being the same critics that loved “Crouching Hooker, Hidden Panties” or whatever it was called.
I won’t tell you who ended up winning, let me just say that it started with an “A” and ended with “lien.”
I hope that doesn’t ruin it for anyone.
I must go now and consume vast quantities of Mountain Dew.