Cause for Alarm

So Saturday, a guy showed up at my front door. He said, “Hey, I’m looking for 4-5 houses to install ADT systems in your neighborhood so we can increase our visibility. Would you be interested in a free home security system?”

Needless to say, I was interested for several reasons. First, I regularly alienate people on the Internet resulting in a high level of hate mail and threats. Second, I need fire alarm service because I have dogs locked in my house all day and don’t want to have dog-kabobs. Third, although I’d love to shoot someone that breaks into my house, I’d rather have the cops shoot him because frankly I don’t need the hassle of all that paperwork.

So ADT guy walks into the house and starts asking questions. “How many entries?” “Is your glass porch door tempered?” “How many ground level windows?”

It was right around then it occured to me that he might be casing the joint so he could rob me. I started to get nervous, so I asked him if he had trouble getting people to let him put systems in around the neighborhood. He said “Yeah, it’s amazing how many people turn me down.” I decided he needed to know that I was armed and dangerous, so I said “That’s probably because everyone in the neighborhood owns a gun, including me.”

I still didn’t have warm fuzzies, so I made him prove his credentials… he had to call into ADT, and I spoke with the rep and confirmed his dealer number and certification. Paranoid, yes. Sucker, no.

So, I agreed to the deal. I asked him to install a cellular transceiver as well, since I don’t have a home phone. Then I decided I wanted a keyless entry clicker. So it wasn’t completely free… but practically.

The tech showed up and 3 hours later I was the proud new owner of a complete home security system. My insurance agent couldn’t be happier.

  6 comments for “Cause for Alarm

  1. May 16, 2006 at 1:33 pm

    I’m glad your experience worked out… however, as a basic and ongoing rule, DO NOT EVER allow a stranger into your home without FIRST verifying their credentials.

  2. May 16, 2006 at 7:58 pm

    Well Incredipete, you may have been born during the day but you weren’t born yesterday. If Matt and Jon from “It Takes a Thief” show up let them in!

  3. May 17, 2006 at 9:11 am

    Armed and alarmed, LoL Badguys beware.
    But seriously verify creds before letting anybody in, especially as you did not ask them to come.


  4. Dr Giggle pants
    May 17, 2006 at 12:17 pm

    You let him call the “office”. You are more trusting than me. I would have dialed the number myself. I mean, haven’t you watched any old episodes of hogans heroes? The fake “call the boss” ploy is the oldest trick in the book.

    That and having a tunnel under the bed. (did you check under the bed?).

    A Burgler alarm and you have 2 dogs? fine. I could understand the fire thing, but they’re dogs. I mean, come on. It’s not like they are cats or something.

  5. Livieloo
    May 21, 2006 at 12:40 pm

    Way to go. I wish we had a home security system. I’m so freakin paranoid. I can’t go to sleep without checking all of the doors and windows. Two nights ago my Mom and Heath got their cars broken into. I’m the paranoid one who never leaves her car unlocked and never leaves anything of value in it so mine was fine. Good thing too.

  6. Rik
    May 23, 2006 at 1:45 pm

    That’s so weird. You live in the midwest and have locked doors, security systems, etc . . . I live in Cali, sleep with my windows and doors open and leave my keys in my car. Something’s not right here.

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