So Saturday, a guy showed up at my front door. He said, “Hey, I’m looking for 4-5 houses to install ADT systems in your neighborhood so we can increase our visibility. Would you be interested in a free home security system?”
Needless to say, I was interested for several reasons. First, I regularly alienate people on the Internet resulting in a high level of hate mail and threats. Second, I need fire alarm service because I have dogs locked in my house all day and don’t want to have dog-kabobs. Third, although I’d love to shoot someone that breaks into my house, I’d rather have the cops shoot him because frankly I don’t need the hassle of all that paperwork.
So ADT guy walks into the house and starts asking questions. “How many entries?” “Is your glass porch door tempered?” “How many ground level windows?”
It was right around then it occured to me that he might be casing the joint so he could rob me. I started to get nervous, so I asked him if he had trouble getting people to let him put systems in around the neighborhood. He said “Yeah, it’s amazing how many people turn me down.” I decided he needed to know that I was armed and dangerous, so I said “That’s probably because everyone in the neighborhood owns a gun, including me.”
I still didn’t have warm fuzzies, so I made him prove his credentials… he had to call into ADT, and I spoke with the rep and confirmed his dealer number and certification. Paranoid, yes. Sucker, no.
So, I agreed to the deal. I asked him to install a cellular transceiver as well, since I don’t have a home phone. Then I decided I wanted a keyless entry clicker. So it wasn’t completely free… but practically.
The tech showed up and 3 hours later I was the proud new owner of a complete home security system. My insurance agent couldn’t be happier.