Business Attire Has Me By The Neck

I suppose I owe you people an entry or something. I know they’ve been few and far between of late, and I’ll try to be better about it. As you know, I started a new, very difficult and stressful job two weeks ago. So basically, I go to work, then I take work home and work some more. I have about 10 more years worth of learning to do in the next month, so the stress will continue. Combine that with my soon-to-start MBA which begins January 10th, and you have a recipe for well… being very busy.

The pups are starting to calm down, and they’re responding really well to commands now, unlike the past 4 months. They’re about as cute as can be, so it’s hard to be mad when they destroy things. This morning Amber barfed wood chips all over my couch. I don’t exactly know why she was eating wood chips, but apparently she couldn’t process it. I have resigned myself, as do all parents, to the fact that I can never hope to prevent them from putting foreign toxic substances into their mouths. They’re dogs, they’ll be fine.

And my new job has inspired yet another topic:

Why the heck would anyone purposefully tie something around their neck? How did such a barbaric thing become “dressy”? couldn’t we have just stitched a pattern into the shirt and prevent the knot around the neck?

What baffles me about ties is that it’s not considered “correct” to have the tie loose around your neck. In fact, if your collar doesn’t squeeze your neck, cutting off circulation to the head, they say your “shirt doesn’t fit.” Ok, but I beg to differ. If an article of clothing cuts off circulation, it DOESNT FIT!
Spandex* is a perfect example. There’s something very wrong with Spandex. In some ways, it’s worse than ties, at least to look at. Ties suck for the wearer… Spandex sucks for everyone else.

Women accuse men of designing bras to torture them. Rightly so, since in fact a man DID invent the bra, but I firmly believe that women invented the tie to get back at him. However, I think it’s a bit different to cinch a noose around your chest than it is to cinch one around your neck. The worst thing that can happen if you wear an overly tight bra is deformation. On the other hand, an overly tight tie can result in death.

I’m just saying.


*Spandex is a registered trademark of the McDonalds Corporation.