Bitterness Test

While eating my exotic cuisine for lunch (hotdogs dipped in barbeque sauce) I was pondering a recent comment. Someone pointed out that I seem bitter, based upon what he/she has read about me.

I found that fascinating, especially since on numerous occasions I have actually referred to myself as bitter. As a public service, I’d like to give you a list of ways you can know that you’re bitter:

1. The last time you had a date, George Bush was president, but it wasn’t the current one.

2. You’d rather eat alone and buy yourself things than go out with a girl.

3. When it dawns on you that your “friends” are never going to call you again, you feel vindicated rather than sad.

4. When hearing a love song on the radio makes you wretch violently so that you have to pull over and vomit.

5. When being called bitter and cynical makes you snicker.

6. When you summon the undead to torment the people you have grown to hate.

7. When you hate just about everyone.

8. When “Korn” lyrics start to sound like they really “make a lot of sense.”

9. When everyone under 24 is annoying and everyone over 40 is annoying, along with most of the people in between.

10. When you believe that if you died today, if you were lucky enough to have your corpse discovered, it would be moot because no one would attend your funeral.

These are just a few of the warning signs I came up with. I’m sure there are many, many more, but that’s enough to incite some conversation, I’m sure.

  16 comments for “Bitterness Test

  1. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: Steph 1) Linkin Park (why, for angst-ridden bitterness, that’s what, and I’m not apologizing for liking Linkin Park, kay?) 2) e-Harmony.com, dude. Duh.

  2. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: Anisettekiss WHAT!? Click on my name. It should work. Honestly, anytime my page starts acting up, I go to Judd’s diary page and click the link he has to me on the left margin. Dammit. Diaryland really needs a message board so we can all chat in one spot and goof off more efficiently. lol

  3. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: thea Bitter-schmitter… ANNISETTEKISS!!! What is up with your page?? Why am I mental & can no gets???

  4. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: Anisettekiss Honestly though. Do you look forward to not being bitter anymore?

  5. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: thea Great, now I have to change my name to #5… Meanmomy updated, and she’s apparently very excited about it.

  6. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: Nightmare OH Shit that Korn lyrics statement made me swerve right into the ditch of the information highway. I plann on stealing that MO-FO!!

  7. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: BigPimpinMBA Would you rather date a girl that was bitter or a biter?

  8. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: Incredipete Gracey, try el emailo – My phone was dropped into a bathtub full of water, and will not be replaced until I get paid on Friday.

  9. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: Andy Bitter? Incredipete is described as Bitter? From what I’ve been told you are more “salty” than “bitter”, at least that’s the word on all the anti-Incredipete message boards.

  10. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: Teets You know someone is bitter when they start repeating things in triplicate, like the commentor above. 🙂

  11. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: Andria Bitterness rules. I think I qualify about eight out of your ten signs, but I knew I was bitter before (who wouldn’t be with all the fucktard men I have been meeting lately). It’s fun… people never know what to say to you, and you can jump down their throat all the time and just say “dude, you know I’m bitter.”

  12. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: Gracy Incredipete I don’t know about bitter but you can come up with some interesting writings. Call Me or maybe I’ll call again or maybe I’ll just be bitter because my friends don’t call me back and I havent had a date in oh lets say a gazillion years. WOW I’m glad I got that out of my system. Gracy

  13. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: Gracy Incredipete I don’t know about bitter but you can come up with some interesting writings. Call Me or maybe I’ll call again or maybe I’ll just be bitter because my friends don’t call me back and I havent had a date in oh lets say a gazillion years. WOW I’m glad I got that out of my system. Gracy

  14. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: Gracy Incredipete I don’t know about bitter but you can come up with some interesting writings. Call Me or maybe I’ll call again or maybe I’ll just be bitter because my friends don’t call me back and I havent had a date in oh lets say a gazillion years. WOW I’m glad I got that out of my system. Gracy

  15. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: Incredipete Good show!

  16. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: syn_ack89 11. When you are first and you are still bitter…

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