Apple Confuses Me

I’ve always been a big fan of Apple. Macs are super-stable and usually very fast. Nowadays they can even run Windows programs.

The best part of Apple products is that they always work perfectly with each other. I have several hundred gigs of audio and video in iTunes and I have an iPad and an iPhone. Seamless.

But Apple’s marketing leaves much to be desired. It’s self-indulgent, over-hyped, and often misleading. This week’s “Tomorrow’s a day… you’ll never forget” BS is a perfect example.

If you were going to announce a new MacBook Pro that runs on perpetual motion energy, you could say that and it would be true. If you decided that Apple was going to buy up the rights to all music on earth and give it to you for free, that would be true. If Steve Jobs was going to commit a ritual slaying of Bill Gates, that would be true.

Adding the Beatles to iTunes does NOT qualify.

First off, I didn’t even know the Beatles weren’t on iTunes to begin with. I don’t particularly like the Beatles. The percentage of people younger than 50 that actually like the Beatles is probably much smaller than the polls would indicate. It’s fashionable to like them. You’re a “weirdo” if you don’t like them. So people claim to like them but never actually listen to them.

Second. It’s not as if people couldn’t buy a Beatles CD and import the music into iTunes. If you really just want the dang Beatles on your iPhone, you could already do that, and frankly most people who now own iPhones probably owned Beatles CDs LONG before Apple ever took over the digital music industry.

Third, people with iPads are waiting LONGINGLY for the iOS 4.2 release which will finally allow them to use their iPads for more than just a novelty or an e-reader. Apple posting a tease like that on their website made everyone think they were finally going to release it. Which of course they didn’t. So now iPad owners are experiencing letdown because they ALREADY HAD THE BEATLES LOADED ON THEIR FRIGGIN IPADS. What they needed was MULTITASKING!

Apple needs to tone down the hyperbole. I realize they are good at marketing. They sell slower, less-feature-filled products than their competitors with relative ease, and they do it because their products are beautiful and work together so well. Industrial design of their products should be more than enough to sell stuff… they don’t need to let their marketing departments come up with retarded commentary. For example, the iPad is a “Magical and Revolutionary” device.

The iPad is awesome. I love mine. I use it every day and for things I’d never even considered before I got mine.

HOWEVER.

It is not revolutionary. The original iPhone was revolutionary. Everyone has been playing catchup ever since it was released, and Apple continues to dominate because their product was first. The iPad, on the other hand, was NOT revolutionary. It’s just the marriage of an iPhone and a netbook. Combining two good ideas does not make something revolutionary. The iPad uses the app store. The app store was revolutionary when Apple introduced it. However, having a new product that uses it does not make it revolutionary.

Magical? Really Apple? Do you even know what that word means? It means “produced by magic.” I’m fairly certain your engineers did not employ magic in the design of the iPad. I realize it’s “really nifty” but there are no dark powers at work. Not only is it not magical, it is also not capable of performing magic. Software is not magic. Touchscreens are not magic. Good industrial design is not magic.

Make good products. Introduce them with fanfare if you must, but for the love of everything holy, please stop with the stupid slogans and ridiculous teases.

  1 comment for “Apple Confuses Me

  1. livieloo
    November 17, 2010 at 12:42 pm

    I just have to say that the only Beatles songs I are on a greatest hits album I bought at Target… they are good tunes but I only listen to them occasionally (less than I listen to my Elvis GH album) and I too had no idea the Beatles were not already on itunes.

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