My title won’t make much sense to you if you haven’t seen “Team America: World Police” but I suppose it’s still slightly funny even in a vacuum.
Tomorrow we celebrate Independence Day. Independence from the stuffy, snooty, repressed, washed-up British who wanted to dominate the entire world but only succeeded in screwing up a good chunk of it. South Africa comes to mind.
And how do we celebrate our Independence Day?
Laziness. Shopping. Beer. Explosives.
Or in other words, the American dream.
Yes, only in America do we celebrate the most important date in our country’s history by sleeping in, spending a bunch of money, getting drunk and blowing s@#$ up.
Why would anyone want to live anywhere else?