America Rocks, Part III

Just in case you missed my incredibly sweet, romantic and dreamy entry from yesterday, go back and read it.


Every six hours, a woman is killed by her partner in South Africa. All kidding aside… what the hell is wrong with Africa? We have a country whose main export is poverty and disease, who kill their own women at an alarming rate, and kill each other in tribal battles as if it’s the stone ages.

I hear so many people talking about how evil the white man was for bringing Africans here as slaves. However, in retrospect, it’s hard to imagine things could have turned out better for the descendants of the slaves. Their alternative would be living in Africa being killed by rival groups.

Now please hear what I’m not saying. I’m in no way condoning slavery or minimizing the suffering that many Africans suffered at the hands of Americans. However, I can also say that no one currently living today in America has ever owned a slave, nor been a slave. So face it… it’s better to be here, ugly history and all.

I also love the people that say ignorant things like “Man, I wanna go back to my homeland of Africa, yo.” What? I can see going on a safari with heavily armed guards. But you wanna live there? I don’t believe you for even one second.

You’re going to leave a country where we have stores full of food, liquor stores on every corner, hot women of every race, air conditioning, cable TV, clean water, and the rule of law… so you can live somewhere that there’s not enough food to go around, AIDS is so commonplace there aren’t enough drugs to treat it, there are hundreds of tribal factions, most of which hate each other, and the rule of law is whoever has the biggest guns. Yeah. Right.

Go ahead… go live in Africa. Have fun. Don’t come crying to me when you get dragged out of your bed and beaten in your front yard while your kids watch. You’ll be happy to be beaten to death because you’ll be so tired of being hot and hungry.

It sounds like I’m ranting just about Africa. It’s only because I read the article about the women being killed every six hours. There really isn’t any country you could make much of a case for living if you could live in America. Go ahead and try. I’ll laugh at your silly justifications and blow my nose on you, you silly English ki-nig-hts.

  67 comments for “America Rocks, Part III

  1. May 24, 2005 at 11:04 am

    … and let’s not forget that many Africans sold their own people into slavery…

  2. May 24, 2005 at 11:12 am

    Well, it’s not politically correct to bring up little tidbits of history like that… it all goes back to the tribalism, ya know.

  3. May 24, 2005 at 11:27 am

    Didn’t we make a group executive decision on “fuck political correctness”? I could have sworn I sent that memo out!

  4. May 24, 2005 at 11:32 am

    “You’ll be happy to be beaten to death because you’ll be so tired of being hot and hungry.” Nice…

  5. Bobby
    May 24, 2005 at 11:39 am

    It’s funny I was just discussing this point on a date last night. I had no clue about the every six hours thing, that is a little upsetting. I would have to say I agree with you Incredipete, I made every point you did last night cept the 6 hours thing. So much evil in the world.

  6. May 24, 2005 at 11:50 am

    I hear Kurves is a source of some of that evil.

  7. May 24, 2005 at 11:55 am

    We did send them back. Liberia. It’s worked out great! Take your next vacation in Liberia!

  8. HRT
    May 24, 2005 at 12:02 pm

    According to a 1994 statistic husbands and boyfriends commit 13,000 acts of vilence against women in the workplace every year. While that is not a killing every 6 hours it does break down to 1.5 acts of violence every hour.

    The American Medical Association estimates that over 4 million women are victims of severe assaults by boyfriends and husbands each year. About 1 in 4 women is likely to be abused by a partner in her lifetime.

    Evil is very real, in North America, Europe, Asia and Africa. Genocide is very real in the Sudan, and infanticide is rampant in China under the strict one-child policy. But be very careful about casting aspersions of incivility on an entire country and or continent.

  9. May 24, 2005 at 12:10 pm

    HRT Huh? “…13000 acts of violence in the workplace .” Workplace? WTF? Do you have a link?

    Also, Although reprehensable, “Acts of violence” does not nesessarly equal “Killing” And 13000 instances = .6 instances per hour, not 1.5

  10. "Lynne"
    May 24, 2005 at 12:14 pm

    I would hate it if I got killed every 6 hours. I worked with an Engineer from Africa at my last job. He was more “Dilberty” than tribal. He would joke around at meetings and start clicking when he talked just to freak people out. Good times.

  11. HRT
    May 24, 2005 at 12:21 pm

    13,000 divided by 365 days/year divided by 24 hours per day comes up to 1.484

    And yes, violence and murder are definitely different things. I’m not saying that they are on the same level, only that horrible things happen everywhere. And whether it is 1 on 1,000,000 or 1 kazillion, if that one is your Mom, sister, wife, friend, or lover that is 1 too many.

  12. Rik
    May 24, 2005 at 12:54 pm

    I think we should institute a 1 child per family law here. In fact, everyone should be neutered at birth and you should have to take a test and get a license to get your fertility back! Too many people on the planet, in my country, in my state and on my freeways. I’m doing my part, no kids. Everytime i read the newspaper i have to ask God to compel people to stop fucking.

  13. May 24, 2005 at 1:16 pm

    You’re right HRT. My math was faulty. Everyone should take a moment and review them. Very sobering.
    Thanks for the links. I looked and I didn’t see anythng that said “Workplace”. Did i miss something or, did you mistype?

  14. May 24, 2005 at 1:16 pm

    reveiw the links, not my math. Duh.

  15. May 24, 2005 at 1:33 pm

    I was wondering about “workplace” … and I think Rik only wants everyone else to stop fucking cuz he’s not getting any. Wait … neither am I … never mind. But, yes, intelligence tests and financial comIncredipetence tests should be instituted for all potential breeders.

  16. May 24, 2005 at 1:37 pm

    Curves, if only you were a sheep…

  17. Rik
    May 24, 2005 at 1:45 pm
  18. May 24, 2005 at 1:49 pm

    It’s amazing how this went from a Pro-America (anti the rest of the world) thing to a forum on procreation. Is it just me, or do all roads seem to lead back to that general topic?

  19. Rik
    May 24, 2005 at 1:51 pm

    Sorry, i have a way of hi-jacking these forums. 🙂

  20. May 24, 2005 at 1:53 pm

    I like it. My topic was boring anyway.

  21. May 24, 2005 at 2:03 pm

    Rik, that story is awful! The dumb bitch should have tied the kids to the car roof so they could breathe!

  22. May 24, 2005 at 2:05 pm

    Andy … baaaaaaaaaaa … I have long eyelashes and a long pink tongue and I hear the human “girlie area” supposedly resembles that of a sheep …

  23. May 24, 2005 at 3:03 pm


    Last year, 1,300 women in the good ol’ U.S. of A. were murdered by their spouses, boyfriends or significant others. That works out to one every 6.738 hours, so we’re just way the fuck better than Africa.

    Domestic violence is a problem globally. As you can see, in this wealthy, educated and supposedly great society of ours, we are apparently just as violent as south Africans.

  24. May 24, 2005 at 3:20 pm

    The great thing about statistics is that they can be used to support any position whatsoever.

  25. May 24, 2005 at 3:26 pm

    Really … 47.2429% of statistics are just made up on the spot anyway!

  26. May 24, 2005 at 3:34 pm

    Oh, and Wombat… how many of those murders were in West Virginia? I’m sure that’s skewing the average…

  27. May 24, 2005 at 3:38 pm

    Dude. I am the only one who took 32 days to find your site and the comments section. Wow.

  28. May 24, 2005 at 3:44 pm

    Aww.. poor Mental. Hi baby! I’ve missed you. I keep trying to comment on your site, and then I’m rudely reminded that someone let their crap expire. But that’s ok, now that you’re here. Oh, and how did you miss the link on my old site to lead you here?

  29. May 24, 2005 at 3:47 pm

    PS – It would be an honor if you’d allow me to help you with your html layout, Mental!

  30. Bobby
    May 24, 2005 at 4:12 pm

    I just think more women need to pick up a bat after being hit or abused. Word gets out that they are fighting back and maybe the spineless abusers would think twice.

  31. May 24, 2005 at 5:09 pm

    Mental needs to get her some FREE Haloscan comments. Nature has a way of righting wrongs; if there’s overcrowding we get shit like HIV to balance it out.

    Of course that just smacks of evolution, doesn’t it Incredipete? *ducks*

  32. May 24, 2005 at 5:24 pm

    Uh-oh, WCG said the E word!

  33. May 24, 2005 at 5:32 pm

    I’m a firm believer in survival of the fittest and natural selection. I just don’t think that random mutation can create different species. 🙂

  34. Rik
    May 24, 2005 at 6:02 pm

    Really? Is this another sore spot to poke? My view: I don’t think the human race will evolve anymore. I think that we’ve “almost” reached a point in genetics and medical technology that we’ll see humans evolving when they want to, not when some gene mutates by itself. On the other hand, we’re allowing those people with those genetic mutations to live longer and longer, eg: Teri Schiavo. These people used to die before getting the chance to breed. Speaking of breading, just kidding. ha ha haWarcry: You should read “The Story of B” by Daniel Quinn. Good book, makes you think.

  35. Rik
    May 24, 2005 at 6:15 pm

    Really Incredipete? Fittest doesn’t mean the strongest or the one in the best shape. It means that if some bird had some gene that mutated and gave it a longer beak, and that beak meant it was able to suck pollen out of a longer flower than the other birds, he’d survive long enough to breed. And if for some reason the shorter flowers started to die off, the long beaked bird would still survive.

  36. May 24, 2005 at 6:30 pm

    Thanks for the suggestion Rik, I’ll take a look at it. 🙂

  37. Rik
    May 24, 2005 at 6:45 pm

    Get two bookmarks. 😉

  38. May 24, 2005 at 8:28 pm


    Ok just kidding. But I agree.

    America is better then Africa

    No kids for anyone until they are 30 and pass a test.

    More border control to keep out the illegals.

    More skin on HBO

    Cheaper booze

    Legalize Weed

    Free Willy

    Chicks with dicks in 06

  39. May 24, 2005 at 9:55 pm

    Actually, Rik… mutations almost never carry on to the offspring. That’s kinda what the term “mutation” implies, isn’t it?

  40. Rik
    May 24, 2005 at 10:35 pm

    Incredipete, if it’s a genetic mutation, then they’ll get passed on. Nightmare, hooyaa, except the chicks with dicks thing.

  41. May 24, 2005 at 10:57 pm

    Why is it that we can’t replicate that in a lab? In the lab, genetic mutations are virtually always harmful and invariably kill the subject. The most common side effect of genetic mutation is sterility… I dunno… even with 6 billion years, I doubt anything would get “better” by “accident.” Heck, my house is a perfect mini-ecosystem where you can observe that the Second Law of Thermodynamics is diametrically opposed to the theory of Evolution.

  42. May 24, 2005 at 10:57 pm

    Note the subtle use of italics. Sweet, huh?

  43. May 25, 2005 at 7:10 am

    Holy shit Incredipete, clean out your fridge! 😉

    Actually, we once were all black; when our ancestors migrated to Northern Europe we no longer needed so much melatonin so over the course of about 20,000 years we became lighter until we became pasty white.

    Now how about Down’s Syndrome? Or hermaphrodites? Or Cystic Fibrosis? Aren’t all of those genetic in that they’re carried on specific genes?

    I need more coffee…

  44. May 25, 2005 at 7:44 am

    White people were spawned from Cain.

    Yes the Cain from the Bible.

    When God “Marked” him and he freaked out because no matter where he went people would know that he was a dirty murderer. Yeah that was because God took all of the melatonin (or as I like to say Beat the color out of him)away and he was forced to seek a cooler climate…IE: north, and the race of stupid white people was spawned like a virus from the loins of a murderous lout who was jealous of daddy’s love for little brother.

    Nice neat little evolutionary package huh?

  45. May 25, 2005 at 10:21 am

    Nightmare, put down the Farakahan tracts.

  46. HRT
    May 25, 2005 at 1:04 pm

    Oh and Night- Nice theory, but if you’re going to quote scripture to base that you have to factor in the great delusian flood of Noah that wiped out ALL the people on the earth save, Noah’s immediate family. So unless it’s a son of Ham, Shem or Japheth.

    They didn’t exist.

    Sorry, next theory?

  47. May 25, 2005 at 1:25 pm

    All this Biblical history is making me sweat.

  48. May 25, 2005 at 1:35 pm

    I have a new theory about the brontosaurus

    Well, this is what it is – my theory that I have, that is to say, which is mine, is mine.

  49. May 25, 2005 at 1:56 pm

    The Flood only covered what was the KNOWN world, remember they also thought the world was flat. Cain made it to the next country out of the “flood” zone that little sprinkling and ark story may have happened.

  50. May 25, 2005 at 2:06 pm

    So who’s to say God’s mark on Cain wasn’t turning him black? I mean the Garden of Eden was supposedly in the Middle East, so they’d be Moree Iraqi looking than say Shaqui looking? No? and if Adam and eve were the first folks, why did god have to mark Cain. Weren’t thier just the 3 of them (Adam, Eve, and Cain…Able was dead…)

  51. May 25, 2005 at 2:42 pm

    How does Lillith (Adam’s first wife) fit into that, Andy?

  52. May 25, 2005 at 3:03 pm

    Well we all know that Lilith utter G-d’s name and flew away. She wasn’t around anymore. So out came Eve. (Woman, V2.0)

  53. May 25, 2005 at 3:05 pm

    *sits back eating popcorn, listening to random debate and watching the sweat glisten off of Incredipete’s head*

  54. May 25, 2005 at 3:23 pm


  55. Kathy
    May 25, 2005 at 3:50 pm

    Not to change the subject, but isn’t it time for more pics of the girls?

  56. May 25, 2005 at 3:53 pm

    That could probably be arranged, Kathy…

  57. Rik
    May 25, 2005 at 3:56 pm

    Have you ever seen a piece of popcorn pop in slow motion? It’s the most amazing thing ever! Also, if you put two peeps in the microwave and give them each a toothpick, they’ll joust and stab each other when you turn on the juice. weeeeeeeeeeeee Easter fun. Speaking of Easter, oops, i’m doing it again.

  58. May 25, 2005 at 4:08 pm

    Easter has to do with the Bible, so you’re only marginally off track…

  59. BJD
    May 25, 2005 at 4:13 pm

    When someone told Red Fox, the black comedian, that they wanted to send him back where he came from, he said “That’s okay with me – I’m from St. Louis.”

  60. May 25, 2005 at 5:27 pm

    This is by far the worst bibical debate on evoluation I’ve ever read.

  61. May 25, 2005 at 5:27 pm

    I mean…where’s the dragons for christsake?

  62. HRT
    May 25, 2005 at 7:03 pm

    Dragons? Duh!? They got flooded out with the unicorns! Only a few survived, and those few remaining dragons were slaughtered in the great dragon purge of ’02 (702).

  63. May 26, 2005 at 7:44 am

    Actually the mystical creatures were mans invention. See the first time around when god created man and made him into the spitting image of himself, he also gave them the power to create.

    So after man had done all of the naughty things they could think of to each other they started in on the animals, and they wanted to improve them by geniticly altering them. Mixing human and animal, kinda like the island of Dr. Moreau. So that is how we get all of the crazy shit like centaurs, minotaurs, sphinx, harpy, griffens, and the like.

    Dragons were still around right up and until St. George slayed the daddy dragon and the rest died from lack of Dragon love.

    Now back to this Peep in the micro wave thing….Do you use flat or round tooth picks and is the microwave setting high, medium or low? and for how long?

  64. May 26, 2005 at 8:00 am

    What you really should do is inject honey mixed with red dye, so when the ‘splode they bleed. The kids’ll start crying… good times.

  65. May 26, 2005 at 8:49 am

    I feel like I need a hug after all of this.

  66. May 26, 2005 at 9:46 am

    LOL!!! I want to go to dinner tonight, Albannach. 🙁 Wanna go?? I want wine and meat.

  67. May 26, 2005 at 9:52 am


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