I’ve noticed over the course of my life that most of my friends eventually drift away (or leave abruptly for whatever reason). It’s probably typical. Now, I’m not going to sit here and say I necessarily miss all of them. I’d certainly never claim that I didn’t cause or at least contribute to the problems. However, as a giving person, I tend to give people more chances when they screw up. Sometimes many more than wisdom would dictate.
But I must not be normal, because in almost every case where I’ve screwed up, I’ve not been given a second chance. There is one notable exception… a girl who I stopped talking to for all the wrong reasons, who ended up giving me a chance when I finally stopped being dumb. She knows who she is, and for that reason I hold her in very high esteem. I’d go so far as to say she’s my best friend. (assuming we put the girlfriend into a category of her own) Even though I hadn’t been very stellar to her, she was the one person there when I was at the end of my rope.
So yes, have I experience what it means to have someone still care about me after a screwup? Yes. But once in a lifetime is not a very good success ratio.
In a lot of cases though, people drifted through no fault of my own. I would attempt to keep up contact, I hadn’t ever given them a reason to go. They just decided I was a waste of time. I literally had a friend several years ago who said the following: “I can’t be your friend anymore because we like each other too much.” What the heck does that even mean? Does it mean she “like” liked me and I just didn’t notice? Who knows. Who even cares? It’s been long enough that I really don’t care. I don’t think I’d spit on her if she was on fire.
Eventually you just have to acknowledge that most people care 100% only about themselves. Most people will always choose what they want over what they know you want.
I think that means that altruism is the trait of a foolish optimist… a sucker. If 99% of the people in the world care solely about themselves, there’s no way to beat them… all you can do is look out for numero uno.
I’m not saying. I’m just saying.