Allow Myself to Introduce Myself

So, this is what it means to have a blog. Gosh, it feels… new… new and sticky.

I’m new to the diary concept, but for the past two months I’ve been reading Pork Tornado’s entries, and I must say, it’s inspired me to have my own. So a special “shout out” to Dusty, for being the wind beneath my wings.

I suppose since this is entry number one, I should tell you a bit about myself. I live in Kansas City, actually in a suburb called Olathe. (oh-lay-tha)I just bought my first house, and it is incredible. In fact, when the inspector went through looking for problems, he really had to work at it. He found a broken window latch, and a missing electrical cover plate in the attic. That’s it. It’s a great place. So I successfully went through the unbelievable joy of moving, which was nearly the death of me. More on that some other time.

I’m 26 and single… incidentally, in case you hadn’t already figured it out, my name is Incredipete. I work as a supervisor in a manufacturing company, and have a BA in Business from the University of Missouri – Kansas City. I’m getting ready to start my MBA, so I’m pretty excited.

As far as hobbies go, I enjoy music and photography. I play piano, guitar, bass, and drums. In fact, last weekend I played piano for a good friend’s wedding. What fun weddings are… NOT. More on that later, too, if I can keep from gagging.

Alright, enough about me. Let’s talk about my uncle. Trust me, you’ll enjoy this. My uncle Bill is a bit of a redneck… by the textbook definition. Uncle Bill has at least two of everything. What do I mean by everything, you ask? I mean, every product ever made by anyone in any country at any time during the past 50 years. He has a highly efficient and organized method for storing them, which involves “One big honkin’ pile of crap big enough to be seen from space.” It’s almost as impressive as western Kansas’ “Biggest Prairie Dog in the World”.

Uncle Bill has an amazing talent for doing things no one else would think of. My favorite, though, is what I like to call the “Lake Bill” incident. You see, Bill has a stream that runs through his property. Bill also has several earthmovers. I told you he has two of everything. So he thought, “you know, it sure would be neat if I could water ski in my back yard.” Who hasn’t had that thought, really? It’s very American.

So Bill, being the proactive man that he is, started working on building a dam. However, Bill did not perform all of the calculations that, say, the Army Corp of Engineers might have performed. During his project, he lost a backhoe in the dam, and just decided to cover it up, because he had several more. I’m truly NOT making this up.

So the dam was finally completed, and the water began to rise. Unfortunately, the water continued to rise, and continued, and continued…. thus, “Lake Bill” was formed, and although the neighbors lost their homes, the surf’s always up in Grain Valley, MO, because the lake is so big now, it’s affected by the gravitational pull of the moon.

But the story has a happy ending. Bill and the neighbors, and the city, and the Corp of Engineers, etc. are sure to be in legal gridlock which will probably make the state of Missouri a much safer place for years to come.

Well, I suppose that’s enough for one entry. I have so much to share with you all, I’m sure I’ll be updating frequently. Thanks for stopping by.


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