When the rain comes, it’s hard to feel connected to your partner, and when there’s a break in connection, one of two things happens. Either you work together to reconnect, or one party says “hey, I tried, and I deserve to be freaking adored, so I’m going to get that somewhere else.”
It’s a selfish act.
Look. I can tell you firsthand what it’s like to be in a miserable, one-sided marriage. Been there, bought the t-shirt. (Still paying for it, in fact.) I felt completely powerless to improve the relationship (and was) because I was the only party putting in any effort. But I made a vow, and without integrity, a man has nothing. I stuck it out until things came to light that both pragmatically and Biblically ended the marriage. Had those things not transpired, I’d still be in a loveless, one-sided marriage.
When you are cheated on, even by someone you no longer have connection with, it sucks. You wonder why you weren’t good enough. You wonder why they were so selfish and couldn’t put some effort into their existing relationship. You feel worthless, undesirable, and pathetic. I know this firsthand.
Every person that cheats (for the most part) feels justified. They weren’t getting what they needed. The person they met is their “soulmate.” They deserve to be happy. They never give a thought to the partner they are betraying, let alone to God or their integrity. They justify their actions in their own heads. They blame the person they are cheating on. They tell themselves they tried everything they could and it just didn’t work.
To that, I say bs.
If you have literally tried everything and it didn’t work, MAN UP and get a divorce. I’m not a fan of divorce, but I’m even less of a fan of cheating. Let them go so they can have a life and move on.
I was recently informed that it’s not an affair if it starts out non-sexual. That’s a laughable comment, because I’d venture to say the vast majority of affairs start out non-sexual. That doesn’t make them NOT affairs. The same person told me I wasn’t mature enough to understand that their affair was God-centered.
God literally spewed out his coffee all over his computer screen when she said that. How deluded, pathetic, and self-absorbed does one have to be to make such a ludicrous conclusion?
God has nothing to do with it. Own what you say. Own what you do. If you’re having an affair and you feel justified, then man the hell up and just say “neener neener, I’m the exception to the universal, Biblical truth that cheating is bad.” Everyone in the universe will label you (correctly) as a narcissistic a-hole, but at least you’re being honest.
I’d venture to say that 99.99% of human beings believe that cheating is bad. And I’m including those that are actually cheating on their partner. The Bible is quite clear. It says to rejoice in the wife of your youth and to run away from anyone that tries to tempt you. It says cheating is like scooping fire into your lap. It says that marriage should be honored by all, and to keep the marriage bed pure.
But seriously. If you need Bible verses to know that cheating is bad, you simply can’t be helped.