Accountability Destroys Relationships

I have a proposition to make, one which would make the world a better, and more honest place.

I believe that honesty is the best policy, except in the cases where keeping your big mouth shut is the best policy.

Here’s my suggestion:

Every person in the world with a computer and an Internet connection should be required by law to have a public shared calendar.

Think about the advantages. No more making up excuses to get out of something, no more… “I’ll have to check my calendar and get back to you.” You can have their calendar up on your PDA when you ask them. It’s beautiful.

Of course, you’d have people that would just fill up their calendar with fictitious appointments. For that, we’d have to have a penalty system that included water torture and electro-shock.

And, because I believe that we should have an honest society, I also think that all cell phones should not only have GPS locator technology, but they should also have the GPS tracking technology. That way, when someone says “I’m at the store right now…” you can just look on your phone and see that they’re in bed with your best friend. Or at least their phone is…

And, so we don’t leave anything out, let’s also have GPS locators built into every car, and then have a huge Internet based database that logs all destinations that the car is driven to. That way you can look and check up on your friend’s stories. “I went to the bank, then the store, and then I had a hair appointment.” Well, according to the database, you went to the bar, then went to the strip club, and then went to your secretary’s house. But nice try, Bub.

You call it “big brother.” I call it “accountability.”

If honesty is the best policy, then accountability is the next evolution.

Wait… I just changed my mind. That would eliminate jobs for private eyes, and relationships would crumble if they no longer had jealousy, suspicion, and treachery. The divorce rate would triple if the need for make-up sex was elminated. Scratch all of those ideas. Let’s keep it vague.

  7 comments for “Accountability Destroys Relationships

  1. Wen
    November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: Wen I was wondering why there was a guy following me around with a camera…

  2. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: Kamasue Vague rocks!

  3. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: mental See???!!!! I hate obscure references like that. What in the helen of troy is that supposed to mean??? It wasn’t me??? Is it from a song? Is it a reference to you being a tootin’ machine? Is it in reference to the entry and i just don’t get it cause my memory span is that of a gold fish???? What does it mean??!!!

  4. HRT
    November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: HRT I only have one thing to say:

  5. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: mental You should write a book on this stuff. Maybe call it something like 1984. Oh wait. Anyways, thanks for yanking the big brother reference from me. You aren’t allowed to pre-strike on comments.

  6. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: Petunia And apparantly I have too much time on my hands, because I was the first to comment – even if it was a useless boring comment.

  7. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: Petunia Good plan. Both of them! You rock.

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