A Modest Proposal

I have devised a perfect populist formula for making America better.

First, fire everyone in Washington. They simply aren’t needed anymore with my system.

Next, put the entire tax system online. This should simplify things, and it allows us to automate my idea.

Now, put EVERY federal program in existence on the tax website. Taxpayers then get to choose exactly how much money they want to go towards any particular initiative. Taxpayers still have to pay their taxes, but we give them the choice of how it’s used.

Within one year, EVERY stupid, un-American program would be bankrupt. Popular programs would be funded out the wazoo. Semi-popular programs would have to tighten their belts.

Don’t like war? Use your tax dollars to fund the EPA.

Don’t like the EPA? Use your tax dollars to fund war.

Whatever. It doesn’t matter because it’s PURE democracy. People will vote for what they want with their checkbooks. What could be better? It’s introducing the free market into government.

It solves 100% of the problems in the country within one year. I’m not kidding. This is a great idea, and I challenge anyone to think of one reason why we shouldn’t do it (that isn’t a STUPID reason).


  2 comments for “A Modest Proposal

  1. December 31, 1969 at 6:00 pm
  2. December 21, 2009 at 8:48 pm

    You are a F*@KING genius!!! I nominate you for world leader.

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