I give you: 5 Minutes Inside My Mind
It was a strange class last night. I wonder why the teacher did not bother attending, but the entire class stayed for almost 3 hours. Maybe everyone thought we were being observed… I know I did. If anyone was watching, they’ll know that I was flirting shamelessly with the pretty girl… per usual.
Tracy talked to me for a long time. She kept probing me for an invite to my “new house.” She wants me.
I hope her husband doesn’t mind.
Wait… it’s not my fault I’m inexplicably desirable to the opposite sex. It’s nature’s fault.
I wonder why my eye is swollen shut…? What did I do to you, you poor little lower eyelid? Why are you angry with me? I thought it might have pink eye, but the darn thing’s not pink. And it’s not gooky. It looks like someone gave me a shiner. I wonder if Tracy’s husband pounded my eye while I was asleep…
One time I ate lasagna, and I had the flu, and I barfed it up in my bed. I was 7. Did you know that 9% of college professors at the University of Colorado in Boulder think that Al Queso was justified in blowing up the World Trade Center. What are they feeding those people?
There are 320 bricks between the windows in the building directly outside my office window.
How have I managed to smack my leg against the side of the dashboard 8 times since I bought my new car, hard enough that it actually made my eyes tear up and left a scuff mark on my pants? It doesn’t seem possible.
DANG, these fries are great today. I love McDonalds.
I sure wish the pretty girl hadn’t eaten all of my fig newtons… those are the best.
Man, that stupid test is tonight. I wish I would have studied for it. Oh well, it’s not like calculating merge bias in a probablistic network simulation is rocket science. I read in a Dilbert strip once that said that any complex iterative model, even if all the assumptions are perfect, is no better than a wild-ass guess.
I wonder if I should believe the field of research, or Dilbert. Dilbert is right about so many things.
Wow, that girl is h-o-t. How did she get into those pants? Yeehaa!
Did she just order 2 double cheeseburgers? Holy cow. I’m in love.
Where was I? Oh yeah. So any complex boobs in an iterative blouse in New Jersey… crap. I’m all flustered.
This glimpse into Incredipete’s mind brought to you by McDonalds: Bringing Good Things to Death, Decisioneering: Making Wild Ass Guesses Seem Better, and New Jersey: The Fastest Way to New York.