A 12 Year Old Can Have Curves?

So, here’s a questionable, controversial topic for ya’ll.

Let me start with a little story.

I moved into my house in April of this year. I met several of my neighbors, including a girl named “Kelly.” I knew Kelly was younger than me. She doesn’t look super young, though… around 19 or 20 if I were going to guess.

ANYWAY, she’s always very nice, and whenever I’m outside, she always walks over and talks to me. When I got the dogs, she really started making frequent trips. It was obvious from the start that she was flirting with me pretty forcefully. Of course, I didn’t mind.

I knew she was probably a tad too young for an old man like me, so I never really thought much of it. Occassionally I wondered if she ever told her family she was constantly over talking to neighbor Incredipete. Yet, there she was.

So, fast forward to last night. She knocks on the door, I invite her in. She came in and played with Abby for a while. Then, she asked the question I’ve been dreading…

Incredipete, would you like to buy some cookies to support my school.

Yikers.

So I obliged, because I’m a sucker for a door to door cookie salesgirl. She needed the check right then, so I went into my office to write it. “Who do I make the check out to?” I asked. “[Name Deleted] Junior High School” she replied.

Double Yikers.

“What grade are you in?” I asked. “Seventh” she replied matter of factly.

Triple Yikers.

I’m expecting her father to knock on my door any minute.

That age old defense “But your honor, she looked legal” just never works out.

But now I understand why she was flirting with me. I am the “older man” and I’m more than likely the only single older man she knows.

I remember when I was in junior high, the girls ALL had crushes on guys that were in college or older. I was so jealous of those guys. Now I understand that those guys couldn’t have cared less about those girls.

My how a few years gives perspective.

  19 comments for “A 12 Year Old Can Have Curves?

  1. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: ticia you got off easy i wud say. let me share a story: smallish background first. my ex-husband and i are still friends, sorta, and since i left 4 years ago we have talked a lot. he told me a scary story. a few months after i left he was feeling desperate and/or horny, who knows? but this neighborhood girl kept coming around and told him that she was 19. too young for him but still legal, right? so he has sex with her at her request and then a bit later she fesses up and she is only 13. he lost his shit. our daughter is now 8, then was 4 and he was really freaked. i guess the point of this is, just stay away from the questionable ones, right? the other stories i have come from the fact that i am 35 and only young boys hit on me. this is because they all think i am an ‘older woman’ after asking what older is i usually get the ‘ummm. like 25 or 26’ answer. so if i were to go with it, i could be dating a number of questionable 21 year old boys. you just can not tell.

  2. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: Wendy What are you waiting on? A private invitation to go read my update? geesh!

  3. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: Incredipete I do have some major problems, and yes, I will be bringing those cookies to work, because I’m not too proud to bribe you into talking to me…

  4. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: JuddHole Being a complete whitetrash hick, several things jumped immediately to my mind: “Old enough to pee is old enough for me,” “Old enough to go to the store, old enough to get bred,” and the one that makes me hang my head in shame, “If there’s grass on the field, play ball.”

  5. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: “Lynne” You’ve got some major problems if you can’t tell a 12 year old from a 19 year old, my friend.

  6. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: Wendy 12? Damn Incredipete, she was way too old for you anyway. ๐Ÿ™‚

  7. HRT
    November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: HRT Oh, and one more thing:

  8. HRT
    November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: HRT ba dump dum ching (rim shot)

  9. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: Andy I don’t know HRT. I’ve asked Santa for boobs every year and he keeps stiffing me.

  10. HRT
    November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: HRT I think its the food, genetics and also there are a lot of 18 year-olds who aren’t getting new cars for graduation, but rather new breasts.

  11. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: Bess It’s food additives. They make boobs bigger and waistlines smaller. Funny how that only works on teens and not use older people.

  12. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: Kathleen Actually, I think it’s the steroids in the meat, because bloody hell, there are 12 year olds out there with bigger boobs than me. It’s so unfair. My niece is 14 and dresses and looks older. I’m sure she gets men ogling her all the time. Can’t figure out why my sister lets her dress like that.

  13. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: Incredipete And Incredipete said “Let there be light” and it was “all good.” Welcome back, people. I took a lot of time writing my disclaimer, so if you haven’t already, go read it. And it’s true…. when I was in junior high, the girls did not look at all like today’s junior high girls. There must be something in the water.

  14. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: Wendy Well glory be, the gates to the kingdom have been opened! Good to see you dawg. You do need to be careful of those young girls, aside from their fathers they sometimes have older brothers who are probably bigger than you. They donโ€™t grow kids like they used to

  15. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: Andy Incredipete, it’s all for the best. You know what would have happened. She would have eventually given you the “let’s be friends, and you are a nice guy” line. :^)

  16. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: Roger The only consolation I can offer is that they never had girls who looked like that when I was at school either. Just enjoy the cookies safe in the knowledge that you found out her age first…..

  17. maf
    November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: maf seventh grade huh? ( mental note -keep Incredipete away from the goddaughters ๐Ÿ™‚ ) that said, i’m glad you’re back – and again – i’m sorry i was … um… yeah downright mean.

  18. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: Teets It is SO very fortunate that you found out her age in this way, instead of on some fine evening while basking in the highly illegal afterglow.

  19. November 30, -0001 at 12:00 am

    AUTHOR: Incredipete I forgot to mention… the reason I called her “Kelly” is that for the life of me, I can’t remember what her real name is…

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