Environmentalists: Why the heck would you want to go around killing industry for the sake of a salamander? Kill the stupid salamander. No one will die because of it. And isn’t it ironic that the stupid evironmentalists are fighting nuclear power plants while driving around in their 50 year old gas guzzler while it coughs up black smoke. Durr.
“Urban” dress: Why the heck… no… more importantly… WHERE the heck did you find a T-shirt that goes down to your ankles? Why? Why are your shorts being held up magically around your knees? Why must you walk around with 200 metric tons of fake “bling”? Why do you feel the need to wear combs in your hair? Aren’t combs intended for “fixing” your hair? Why is it that you spend all of your paycheck on 9,000 dollar “outfits” when you could be spending the money on getting a clue?
Pimped Honda Civics: Ok… I understand that due to your incredible expenditures on “outfits” you can only afford a 1988 Civic. I am fully aware that a 1988 Honda Civic had 90 horsepower when it was brand spanking new. I’m also aware that 17 years after it was manufactured, it has far less than 90 horsepower left. So, putting a huge muffler on your Civic, although it might increase decibels, is not likely to actually increase power. It’s also a certain indication of a very low IQ. I used to have a 1985 Crown Victoria, and one day the muffler fell off. It sounded like a tractor trailer. However, it didn’t MAKE it a tractor trailer. Get a clue. Your car is gay.
Talking in the Theater: What’s that aboot, eh? I accidentally ended up in the “hood” one night with a friend, and we decided to go see a movie. Apparently there is a cultural difference from where I’m from… In my normal theater, no one speaks. If anyone starts whispering, 96 people will say “HEY, WILL YOU STOP FREAKING TALKING, YOU MORON!?” Not so in the “GhettoPlex.” EVERYONE was talking. The entire time. I don’t get it. At. All. Help me understand.
Visible Thongs?: What is WRONG with girls these days? It’s bad enough they feel compelled to wear an undergarment that is INTENDED to ride up their rear end. But why do they feel compelled to pull them up so high they are visible above their low-rise pants? Is it all about drawing attention, or are they really just so personally oblivious and unaware of themselves that they have no idea? If your panties are showing, you need to get some bigger pants or some smaller panties.
My nominees to do this next are: