2009 Christmas Letter

And so it begins, the much-anticipated annual Incredi-Christmas-Letter. And by “much-anticipated” I mean “no one will read it.” Regardless, here goes. January brought cold weather and Savior Obama. With promises of worldwide nirvana and economic equality, the world hailed him as such. In the face of overwhelming odds, I boldly stated my opinion that he was a socialist boob intent upon recycling all of the bad ideas his liberal predecessors had already failed at. In spite of the hordes of uneducated masses sending me hate mail and threats, I stuck to my guns, until a few months later, when all of them had forgotten they supported Obama and decided they had “always thought he was under-qualified.”

In February, I lost my damn mind when I decided to announce I would update every day for the rest of 2009. For those of you who blog, you know this is not an easy thing to do, especially not to do well. I can’t say I did it well, but I can say, with pretty good certainty, that I accomplished the goal. For those of you who still read here… I apologize for all the crap writing.

Most of March was spent mocking Obama and the tax-evadercrats in Washington. I found it hilarious to see how everyone he appointed to a cabinet position was a lying scumbag with documented tax fraud in their past. Meanwhile Biden says it’s “patriotic” to pay taxes. I’m still not sure why Obama wanted to appoint non-patriotic people. Oh yeah – I almost forgot Obama is a Chicago Machine Politician.

In April, I finally decided to get some happy pills to help with my anxiety. This was something I probably needed to do three years ago, but it seemed wimpy so I didn’t. The downside to starting on anxiety medicine is that you spend the first 3-5 days in a cold sweat, nauseated, suicidal, and 100% apathetic, to the point where I nearly died of starvation and dehydration 5 feet from my kitchen full of food and water. Granted, you’re supposed to tell your doctor if you have “thoughts of suicide” but I figured all he’d say would be “don’t commit suicide.” I also figured I didn’t need psych counseling since the only reason I was contemplating offing myself was due to the side effects of the stupid anxiety pills. Fortunately, things started to improve after a month or so, and I once again started bathing, eating, and speaking.

In May, I received my first death threat related to a blog post since 2005. In it, I implied that George Tiller (the late-term abortionist) got what was coming to him. And by implied, I mean I couldn’t have been more happy that someone finally put a stop to his work. Yes, it should have been the government, but the government is filled with liberal bed-wetting wussies who can’t stand up for principle. The person who sent the death threat turned out to be an old high school friend, and he was quickly arrested for making “terroristic threats” which is apparently a felony. Lucky him. Looks like this blog is responsible for a very dumb guy serving a hefty sentence. Woot Woot. For the record, I’m still glad George Tiller is out of business.

In June, I developed a ganglion cyst which was causing me a lot of pain in my wrist and hand. I made the mistake of going to a wrist specialist for treatment, and he promptly shattered the bone in my wrist. On accident. After 6 weeks in a cast the main chunk of bone healed up, but there are still 3 small fragments floating around that I may have to get cut out eventually. Here’s a tip. Don’t let a doctor break your wrist without anesthetic. It hurts.

July started a flurry of Barrett Graphics activity, meaning I was spending a great deal of my time at the studio shooting quasi-attractive people. The bad news was I had no free time, but the good news was I was finally inspired to upgrade the website and improve my portfolio. July was also the company picnic at the lake, by which I mean it was in the proximity (but not within sight) of a lake. And by proximity, I mean in the same sense that the Sun is in proximity to the Earth.

I spent most of August developing Black Sky Radio’s websitewith Mike Walker (aka Nightmare). This was a joint venture between him and another local DJ (who lasted all of a month before quitting). It was a pretty major project because it has a lot of features. Most notably, it has streaming audio 24/7, which requires lots of fun software and configuration on the web server. It also has a premium content section by subscription, so there were plenty of kinks to work out. August is all a blur to me…

Jenna and I celebrated our first anniversary September 5th. September was also when I decided I finally needed to form an LLC for my independent enterprises, IHS Web Solutions and Barrett Graphics. I did it on the cheap by using LegalZoom, and I made Barrett Graphics a DBA of IHS so I wouldn’t have to pay for two LLCs. The bad news is, now I have to deal with all of the IRS crap that comes along with running a business. I can hardly wait for tax season. Oh yeah, Jenna lost her job with the chiropractor in September as well. Let’s just say it was NOT for cause and leave it at that.

In October, I put two and two together and realized that Jenna should apprentice for Black Sky Radio. I floated the idea to Mike (who happened to be looking for a co-host) and he decided to let her try it as an intern. It was clear from the beginning that they make a good duo, and within a couple of months, Mike promoted her from lowly intern to lowly co-host. You should check her out, every weekday from 2-7 PM Central. While she was an intern and we were waiting for unemployment to kick in (which took ELEVEN weeks thanks to her old employer trying to screw her over), I had to work my ARSE off doing photo and web gigs to try and make up her income. I was working my regular job, then at night and all weekend I was shooting photos, then after I got home from those, I was doing web design.

November is a complete blank for some reason. I’m sure I did something, but I must have been drunk.

And of course December brings Jenna’s birthday. This year she got a snazzy microphone for her birthday to use at her job. Practical but also fun. I think. Hey, she said she wanted it. I also spent some time and money upgrading the ole’ IHS computer at my house, because it’s tax deductible! Stick it to the man, I say! (If you’re the IRS, I’m totally kidding!) Except for the broken bones, unemployment, over-work, death threats, anxiety meds, and liberal takeover of the government, 2009 was a great year!